Oh, my peptic septic

If you live in the country for long, at some point you will have septic tank issues. My day has come.

After some gurgling from our lowest toilet on the first floor, I removed the top of the septic tank pump-out pipe in the front yard and was met with an odorous geyser that forced me to throw away a pair of shoes. The tank had been pumped out less than six months ago, so I knew this was more than just a "full house."

I called a friend who has septic-tank experience. He came over and gave me the bad news. He surmised the tank is plugged at the baffle leading to the drain field. The tank has to be dug up, at least so the top can be lifted off.

Take a good look at the nice green spot under the fence in the front yard. I'll be renting a backhoe soon and digging in.

I don't know much about septic tanks, but I guess I will be learning. I did learn after many years in the newspaper business that everything flows downhill.